Being ⅓ of Handsome can sometimes be a challenge and a treat at the same time. Keeping a balance is part of that ongoing process. Like today I’m chilling in my room for the whole day (cause there’s snow on the road and I’m not Evil Knievil) and thinking of ways I can use Handsome to get some love from the ladies. There was that slightly adolescent looking cutie at New York Fries in the private school uniform (the flannel pants version cause skirts are for straight up hoes). I’m thinking she’d probably make a good wife and Handsome could be my means of achieving this. I didn’t end up talking to her, but it did get me thinking. I need to be able to let the ladies know there’s a tiger in me (symbolic of my sexuality) but it’s not gonna be all arrogant and shit (symbolic of my arrogance).

So then I’m trying to think of things to say when the opportunity for courting a wife inevitably arrises again. I need to think of what one of my role models would do if they owned their own clothing line. Teenage Simba was a pimp in The Lion King. I can relate to that and Nala was definitely one of the fittest ladies Disney ever dropped on us.

The answer like the answer to life is balance. I gotta show the ladies I am Simba at all ages combined. I’m adventurous like Cub Simba (voice of Jonathan Taylor Thomas), but smart enough not to go into the elephant graveyard like some reckless gangster. I can kick it like Teenage Simba with Timon and Pumba, but know you can’t always choose bros over hoes. Lastly, I’m confident as one day I will be King Simba, ruler of everywhere the sun touches, but this will not overwhelm me with arrogance like in the scene where Simba is all arrogant and shit and disrespecting Zazu.

So now I’m thinking I’m pretty desirable and I own my own clothing company. If a girl isn’t down with me it’s probably cause she’s stupider than Donna in 90210.